"please don't blow the candle, I'm still
searching for it deep inside this cave."

And all came crushing me like continous hurricanes. Came crushing. Is there anything that I can keep? Is there anything that worth my pain, my patient? Like if I waited for a temporary heaven on earth. Like It would happen to me.

Oh, where is the world I long for? Can I ever get into a peaceful mind? Will I ever get there? I hate being like this. Eventhough people say I should take it easily with no hard thinking and feeling, I still can't.

This anxiousness is driving me insane. I tried to be cool, didn't work. I tried to ignore, didn't work. I tried to think of any other stuff in life, still, didn't work! Oh, God.. I never thought it would be this hard. I didn't know I'd stab my heart. Have I been wrong in the first place? Have I been too selfish in the first place that finally I caught myself in trouble? I guess I took it too easily, selfishly. Tell me who can break the spell? Tell me who can get rid of my anxiousness? Tell me who can give me back my pride? I have longed for a joyful scent.

I long for your love. Should I do a suicide? Should I stand on the edge of any building and jump? Should I care for no more?

One said that I should do the same as the way I've been treated
One said I should show love.

I feel love when I say it. Tell me who can say it better?