to whom it may concern

scared, thrilled, and surprised, I was
so you know...and I'm not covering it up
so you know...I've done stupid things
I let the explanation goes
thrumbling out my mouth
and watching you reacted that way
I know it affected you in someway
and there I was
scared, thrilled and surprised...

here, I'm not talking about you..
so don't get your face blush

help!

what's with my cellphone?

so so stupid, I can say.. I do admit I'm getting stupid each day. So, it happened last night when I was playing with my cellphone. Just changing the settings etc, etc. and I got into the PIN code area.. so.. you know what happen next..I forgot the PIN code. I was quite a bit careless for that. I wasn't thinking that my phone was about to get blocked. Somehow I just thought that I could just cancel it then, but my thumb didn't stop pressing the number and all I did was guessing, and guessing the code. Suddenly it came up with the PUK number request..HELL NO!.. goddammit ... I was just playing with my cell and suddenly I can't use it.. Aaaarrghhh! And you know what? that wasn't the first time. I know I'm dumb. It happened once before.. few years ago.. that's why I don't have the PUK number. Even if I've got it back then, I must have lost it by now. Infact, I didn't remember where i wrote it down. God, help me...please.. stop me from being dumb! Or at least just help me on this one.. and I swear I won't touch that PIN code area again.. I swear! [But I was a bit curious tho about the correct PIN code number]. Dumb, dumb, you silly little girl!!!!!And what I'm going to do next? phone the local service area and get it done .. the sooner the better ..

tell me

tell me
tell me
show me
teach me

if there's an opportunity
there're some options
i can't tell what's going on with me
i'm all in confusion

i can't decide what to do
so tell me what to do
show me how to do it
teach me how to do it

what if i give it a try?
but somehow i don't feel it fits enough
tell me
tell me
somehow i can't think like an ordinary person
somehow i can't even dare to try
somehow i'm too afraid that this may fall
somehow i think that this isn't appropriate

sepenggal cerita

ada anak kecil berjalan di kegelapan malam

dia ketakutan tapi dia lebih takut lagi melihat kebelakang

ia takut bila tiba-tiba ada yang menikamnya dari belakang

ia cuma ingin terus berlari

tak peduli betapa lelahnya

jarak yang ia tempuh sudah jauh

sangat jauh, malah

ia sudah mulai terbiasa dalam kegelapan itu

tapi

tetap saja

kapan rasa puas itu datang

bila semua biasa-biasa saja?

anak itu merenung

masih dalam kegelapan

ia terhenti sejenak

atau mungkin untuk cukup lama

karena lamanya ia merenung

akhirnya ia pun terlelap

karena ia juga terlalu letih untuk menjaga matanya untuk tetap terbuka

dalam mimpinya

ia melihat matahari

matahari yang bersinar sangat terang

menyinari dan menghangatkan tubuhnya

"Nah!Itu dia!", pikirnya

itulah yang dia cari-cari selama ini

ketika setetes embun jatuh membasahi pipinya

ia pun terbangun

kedinginan dalam kegelapan

tapi kini ia tau apa yang ia tuju

jalan menuju cahaya itu yang harus ditempuh

cahaya yang menyinarinya dan menghangatkannya

cahaya yang dapat membuatnya merasa nyaman

tapi

dimana ia bisa menemukan cahaya itu?

bila jalan yang ia tempuh

hanya sebuah jalan dengan ujung persimpangan tak bertanda

tak ada satupun tanda...

she's so damn clueless...