i need to feel:

Weird.. knowing that I've spent my 4 days of a week holiday to chat--well, not chat exactly-- to 'discuss' about something so serious. very unlike holiday chit chat. where people supposed to be talking about life and gossip and stuff..

But at least now I have my holiday.. two days to go.. and then, start the whole routine again. meeting.. here and there.. getting ready for the big scale meeting at the weekend. Could you believe that? at the weekend...!

And now, big wind is blowing right outside my window. wow! okay, back to the topic again.. where was I?? oh, okay. about weekend. and so, I decided that I deserve to get a vacation.. trip to bali wouldn't be that bad.. my friend told me that the group wouldn't go unless there's a group of 40 people. with friends.. it'll be so fun.. I need to feel joy!

Oh, God! when am i going to say thank you??? I know I said it in every prayer. but still, do I really mean it?

I know I'm okay, but I feel empty. I don't know why.

at least for now I'm having myself a break, a holiday.

keep myself inside my own boundary..

i hate being in this situation again.. I can't blame anyone, anything, but my super-unstable mood. moodswings.. understanding things that's meant to be nonsense..

i don't want to be a liar.

i don't want to be a liar.

But, in this time i don't really know whether I've been sincere or not in anything in live.. I guess life's made of some bull and truth. we mix them all with good measure so our lives' look good to all people. the recipes that makes other jealous of what we call lie.. So the question now is, have I been lying? small stuff? big stuff? huge stuff? I don't know exactly..

anything but names

Gw cukup senang karena blog ini minim pengunjung.. so I could tell anything. Just anything..anything but names.

It really feels stupid. "How could You?", You asked me that. I didn't know,still I have no idea. How could it be that person? For all people you've known better. How come?

Slap your face and say Yeah!!! get real!! Wanna taste the same most-hateful melody again? It would absolutely kill you, you idiot!


DUH?!? So lame of me... AAARRGHH!

And everytime I see that face, I just think to myself, "How could I?". Still, it happens anyway, no excuse. It's like the irony of having both brains and heart. They could not compromise in any way. They just couldn't. Bless you, for people with peaceful soul.


That's so typical of hurting-me-person.

anything but names

Gw cukup senang karena blog ini minim pengunjung.. so I could tell anything. Just anything..anything but names.

It really feels stupid. "How could You?", You asked me that. I didn't know,still I have no idea. How could it be that person? For all people you've known better. How come?

Slap your face and say Yeah!!! get real!! Wanna taste the same most-hateful melody again? It would absolutely kill you, you idiot!


DUH?!? So lame of me... AAARRGHH!

And everytime I see that face, I just think to myself, "How could I?". Still, it happens anyway, no excuse. It's like the irony of having both brains and heart. They could not compromise in any way. They just couldn't. Bless you, for people with peaceful soul.


That's so typical of hurting-me-person.

art or photography?

gw bingung.

apa fotografi itu suatu bentuk seni?

Kalau memang itu adalah seni, mengapa harus dinilai oleh orang lain? Seni lebih dimengerti oleh orang peng-karya-nya (sebutan gw untuk seniman). Bener, kan?

Sebetulnya, ada sebagian dari fotografi itu yang bisa dinilai oleh orang banyak, yang dimengerti oleh orang banyak. Tapi, menurut gw, tetep aja ada bagian tertentu dari fotografi yang hanya bisa dimengerti oleh pengkarya itu sendiri. Atau mungkin fotografi yang demikian tidak mencerminkan fotografi itu sendiri? Mungkin itu hanya suatu hasil dari kamera yang secara langsung membuat orang berfikir itu adalah fotografi? Padahal mungkin tidak memenuhi kaidah dari fotografi dan prinsip-prinsip standarnya? Memiliki makna dan sebagainya? Bagaimana dengan orang yang suka melihat sesuatu yang menarik tanpa harus memikirkan makna dibalik itu? I'd call it art, and I took it with my camera, and I'll call it photography.

Don't call me shallow. It's just me and my peculiar attitude. And I'll do what I want.

Yah, memang art itu ada maknanya.. but let's just say I do what I want, and I name it art.

Untuk hal ini, gw perlu opini banyak orang, oleh karena itu, post ini bakal gw taro di smua blog gw.. so don't get fed up with this post. thank you.

routine returns!

This routine is coming back. I don't know how..Maybe because I've been too tired of all works to do? But I guess I did quite a lot time to have fun too.. Guess they're in balance... But, what about my body? May be my body is weak??

So, wake up this mid night.. 01.20AM nothing to do... I used to chat with my friend at this strange time, but we haven't been talking a lot recently.. Guess that person's allready forgotten anyway. People tend to get busy with things and forgot to what they call "unimportant".. or was I important? it doesn't matter anyway.. as long as I'm happy with what that person has given me..I'm so glad.

Now I'm just too depressed to start cutting the papers and I'm so not in the mood of starting drawing..........

Shoes!

yea.. nu layout.. haha..

Can't wait!

Kapan ya pesanan sepatu jadi? Katanya upi si besok.. uuu.. semoga mbaknya nggak bohong.

Akhirnya gw sms juga mbak itu.. Ohh, really can't wait!